Monday, June 20, 2011

On love.

Sometimes I think that we don't really know what love is or how it feels until you love someone who either never loved you back, or gave up on loving you.  Of course I am probably biased because that is what I am going through right now.

I catch myself constantly wishing and hoping he'd just love me again.  But I know deep down that it's not how it should be.  Love is easy; it's the relationship that is hard.  We sometimes confuse the two and falsely call it quits. But love?  True to the bone, deep seeded unmistakable love is a quiet, easy, never ending flow.  It doesn't just come and go.  I believe we can never fall out of a true love.  We might become so hurt and betrayed that the love becomes dull and pointless, but it will always be with you.

We all go through it, right?  It's so defeating and it shatters every bit of you into tiny little pieces.

He left me suddenly and surprisingly simply because he just did not love me anymore.  This leads me to believe he never truly loved me.  So I don't know what is worse, being in love with someone who stopped loving me, or being in love with someone who never actually loved me at all.

I just need to stop trying to hang on.  But moving on means saying goodbye, and goodbyes SUCK.  They fucking suck.

Well THAT took a sour turn.  But seriously... life just blows right now and no one is here to let me snot all over their shirt while I cry on their shoulder.


  1. That's a hard situation. I've been there before. Saying goodbye is hard. But what you're going through right now--the torment--is harder.

  2. hmmm.

    well, i've been here that's for sure.

    it's hard when they leave with an ambiguous reason like "i just don't love you anymore"

    we long to know why. we beat ourselves up thinking there's something we did. we analyze the relationship to death. it's just what we do.

    But, i will tell you one thing. Love IS easy. when it's right, it's easy. whenever there's a struggle, Whenever there's doubt, whenever there is drama... it's usually cus it's not right.

    it shouldn't be that hard when both are ready and both are committed and both want each other.